December 05, 2008

I lost a good friend yesterday

Paul DeCrescenzio was a good buddy of mine. He was about 3 years younger than me. I'd known him since I was 17. When I was about 19, we dated for a couple of years. Afterwards, I met Mike Dennis. Over time, Mike and I married. At some point during the marriage, Paul & Mike became friends. Some time after our divorce in 2000, Paul lost a co-worker due to the job market and thought about Mike. Mike also had lost his job around the same time. They started installing cabinets together and have become the closest of buddies, sometimes working all 7 days a week. They even went on deep-sea fishing trips every few months with Paul's brother and other friends.
Mike went to Paul's house yesterday morning as always to park his car and pack-up equipment and head to work with Paul. For some reason when Mike pulled up, Paul's brother, Michael, was at the house. He had been worried that Paul wasn't answering his calls that morning about a job they were going to work on. Mike walked in, and saw Michael sitting on the couch, very distraught. Paul was dead. I will not go over what we know, but it had nothing to do with any of us, or his immediate family. Shortly after, his wife Brandy came home. Michael had called her. Throughout the day, other family members from both sides came. And the usual array of police, ambulance, etc.
It was a very rough day, and a horrible night's sleep.
Today, we'll go see his family together, and the man who handled their job bills, to help tie up loose ends with work, and to see what else we can do for the family, if anything.
Paul and Mike were independent, contracted installers. They did not have insurance to cover a funeral, nor is this considered a 'secure' job. Mike is now no longer employed. He was an apprentice. He is hoping Michael will take him on, but we know that is a slim chance - Michael has a full crew, and few jobs. He does new-home construction. Mike only knows half of what Paul knew. This leaves him in a bad position.
Brandy cannot afford to bury her husband. I cannot imagine what is going to happen. I know she'll have help, and I know some of you know what a funeral costs. It's ridiculous. She was devastated. Paul was the only man she'd ever known. She was 3 years younger than him. Mike said she wailed and wailed. I'm so glad I wasn't there. Mike cried so much while he was here last night.
Paul's father is terminally ill with liver cancer, so please keep him and Paul's mom in your deepest prayers. Also, his brother Michael, wife Brandy, 2 children by his first wife, and friends.
Please keep Mike in your prayers for a job. There's not much out there for this. New-home construction has slowed considerably here.
The viewing will be Monday night 6-8 pm Thompson's Funeral Home, Augusta Road, Lexington, SC.
Thank you so much.

13 comments:

Shelly said...

God that is horrible. I can't imagine my husband doing something like that but sometimes I can tell he gets depressed because the construction is bad and it's hard to make ends meet sometimes. A man gets to where he feels inadaquete. I feel terrible for all of you...family and friends. And Mike. Love you.

lisa jo said...

I am TRULY so very sorry for this. What a terrible time for you and your hubby and also your friends family too. Thank you for your kind words about my dog. Things come at us and we think "how can we handle this" and life seems so overwhelming, as i am sure you may feel right now but know you have a family here, thru the tags and blogger and you are in my thoughts today and my prayers always.
lisa

Dannelle said...

What a terrible act to do- something wasn't right. Please accept my sympathy and prayers. Everyone will need each other to get through this and from what you said there will be more to bear in the future. This is a depressing time for many- ((((hugs for you))))Dannelle

Bethe said...

Oh my.. was Michael "murderd"?

Gosh what a mess...buriel, contract commitments, work for your hubby. His poor wife and parents. Of course they are in my thoughts and blessings.

hugssss...

PurpleKatz said...

I am totally sorry to hear this Phyllis!! Please know that you & your family and his family are always in my thoughts and prayers. This has to be horrible time especially this time of the year with the economy and the holidays. Please let me know if there is anything we can do for you and the family. We all are here for you NO MATTER what. OK! Take care and may you & your family be safe and sound always and forever! God bless and many hugs and lots of love, KAT :OD

Missie said...

Losing a freind is never easy. I'm sorry.

Mike Testa said...

Heartfelt post. I am a CPA and financial planner that helps families needing to save money on funeral costs. You can find some good, objective information about funeral and cremation planning, funeral costs, and ways to reduce funeral costs here: http://www.funeral-tips.com


I am in NE Ohio and our construction economy has really tanked too.

Chris/cacklinrosie101 said...

Oh dear Lord, Phyllis, how awful. I certainly will keep Paul's family plus you and Mike in my prayers. What a horrible shock to deal with. Hugs n Love to all of you...

Joey Lyles said...

Delle.....I am so sorry for your loss. Paul and I were VERY good friends in middle school. I used to see him from time to time when i bartended at Outback. I realize you did specify what caused his death, but I get the gist of it.

If anyone understands, its me.

Miss Slick One said...

Thanks, Joey, love you, buddy :)
See you at the viewing maybe?

Mike, they've already taken care of that - day one, pretty much - but thank you so much for the info! I'm trying to find 'grief support' and such for Brandy and Michael. I found a place, but with it being the weekend...well...I'll just be the best friend I can.

Ladies, thanks so much, I love you all!

Miss Slick One said...

Bethe - it was Paul who died, and no, but I'm not at liberty...

Teresa said...

Honey I am so very sorry about this happening. I'm sitting here struggling to find the words to say and all I can come up with are feelings. Top of that "feelings" thing is deep sorrow... and tears. Know that Paul's family and yours are in my thoughts and my "prayers to the wind"..Blessings** Teresa

Connie said...

what a horrible thing to happen,I am so sorry for everyones loss.Prayers for all and for your hubby that the Lord provides him with a job.
Not going to be a Merry Christmas for all concerned.I feel so badly