April 16, 2020

HILARIOUSNESS (a book I'm writing)

HILARIOUSNESS
Possibly a short story...

by
Phyllis Adelle Sherer
04-16-2020







1.

An intro to my extro






While others are briskly walking across the top of my window that looks out onto the New York streets, I contemplate why I am not out there with them. I am an extrovert, afterall. So why am I just sitting here, chin in one hand, pen in another, looking at their horrible choice of walk-wear?

(Picture Laverne & Shirley's place. Yea, that's me. But alone. And I don't work in a brewery, I'm a writer.)













2.

Personably Personal
...in other words, Nunya







Four days ago, March 3rd, someone dropped a rock as large as a kitten outside my window. I guess it bounced against the glass, because as soon as I heard that odd noise, I ran to the front room thinking someone was going to break in and drop down into my living room!
No one was seemingly standing still, thinking about breaking in. Nope, just everyone walking briskly as always. Odd, maybe someone threw it from across the street? Maybe some kid dropped it out a window above me?
Hold up, there's "Governor" Amelia, the tiny Chinese woman who runs the restaurant across the street, wheeling her cart very slowly up the sidewalk while her Chinese Crested tries so hard to keep up because he's older than she is and walks even slower! I'll ask her if she saw anything. She's been here so long, and tells everyone what to do and not do, that she was Christened the nickname "Governor" by the locals. It only takes one hint of an ear yearning for gossip, for her to spill the beans!

Self, I haven't been here long, only about 27 years, still an outsider, according to the neighbors. But she knows everything and everyone.

I pop on some flip flops and try not to trip myself running up the stairs to catch Amelia. John Denver, it's still cold! I truly hate this weather.
Out of breath and trying not to have a heart attack, or scare Amelia by sounding like a creeper, I gently yell her name before I get too close to her.
She turns around, and with a huge grin, grabs me in the smallest but tightest bear hug ever experienced. And now I have to pee.
" 'Express'! How are you. I have good food today, plenty of fish and noodles. You want, of course!" It was a statement, not a question. She knows me well. She's dubbed me "Express" because it only takes me one minute to pop across to her restaurant in the ally of my building. I enter through the side door since I am also the one who cares over her weird-looking dog when Amelia isn't feeling well.
"Thanks, not right now."
Well, maybe.
"Did you see anyone drop a rock at my window?", I ask.
"A rock? No. I not see. Was not me."
"Alright. I figured one of the kids dropped it out a window. I'm just happy mine isn't cracked."
"Is too cold for crack window!" she says.
"Yep", I reply, looking at her cart and smelling the fresh-bought market fish she'll be preparing shortly... "Annnd, yes, I would love some noodles and fish since I'm out. I'll see you at the restaurant in a minute. I'm going to go grab a newspaper."
"Ohh kayyyy", she says holding up her index finger, "see soon!".  She's so stinking cute.


Back in my apartment, I am extremely happy with my white fish, Chinese vegetables and scrumptious noodles. She has a way with a sauce that makes you want to eat the cardboard bowl it was served in.
"Mrs. Cho," I asked her years ago, "what's in this sauce, it's amazing!"
She replied, without cracking a smile, "I tell, I kill." No truer words were ever spoken! Luckily, she loves me now, and her serious reply is one I have adopted over the years. I say it other people when they ask for my caramel brownie recipe! In all honestly, it's the only baking recipe I know.

Pen in my writing hand, (fun fact - I'm ambidextrous), I start to jot notes about 'coordinates' and ocean terms, and a few possible names for my future fictional haunted boat... or ship... I haven't decided yet. "And I'm sure not telling YOU, Apartment! No secrets are allowed to leave this room!", I said aloud as I wiggled my finger at any non-visible eyes. So there.

Whoopsie, I forgot about the rock. My mouth was busy enjoying this amazing food and my mind was trying to wrap around 'boat ghostings'! Hmm, there's an interesting title... I donned my flip flops yet again and head back up the stairs. Sucking in some fresh smoggy air, I look around nonchalantly, kicked a couple of little leaves on the ground, then zipped to my window, grabbed the rock, and hightailed it back down my stairwell.
Back inside, I look at it closely, decide to wash the NY grime off of it, and as I'm doing so, I notice that it has several sharp edges, and just looks weird, mostly blah-brown but with blueish tones throughout. It does not belong in NYC, of that, I'm sure. "I conclude it fell from the sky", I exclaimed aloud, to my apartment, who couldn't care less. Yep, that's what I'm sticking with. It dropped out of a plane or a bird dropped it... no, wait, this sucker is probably too heavy. That wouldn't make sense.
A plane. Yep. An island hopper or a helicopter, maybe! One of those that you can sit on the inside of with your feet hanging out - like snipers.
It has a few 'fingerprints' dips in it, and the edges look chiseled. The blue is intriguing. I almost want to drop it hard and crack it open to see what's inside, like maybe a geode! I decide to put it to my ear and HOLY CRAP! A piercing sound shatters through my brain so loud, that I actually drop the rock and fell backward across my breakfast table! "What in the hell was THAT?!" Closing my eyes and shaking my head, I slowly stand back up and peer down, but the rock was anywhere obvious. I get down on my hands and knees and follow a yellow trail of air that pulses through and across to the other side of the room!




3.

Ohhhhhkay, thaaaat's weird...

I have never seen anything like this IN MY LIFE! Since when does color sit in the air and PULSE?! And why was this rock emitting it?!

...to be continued...

November 23, 2019

Lume Deodorant review

#Lume

It works great for me personally!I received my tube of cream deodorant over a week ago and I have yet to go back to traditional deodorant! I'm 53, overweight, nearing the tail-end of peri-meno (I hope!), and have dealt with a variety of unusual odors through those years. Long story short, I LOVE LUME! The key to using this is to be CLEAN & DRY before applying well (following the directions), then letting it dry on your skin before dressing. The fragrance is light, and the cream does NOT sting, even freshly shaved pits! I also started using it on the bottoms of my feet because wearing my shoes all day causes odors... but not anymore!

www.lumedeodorant.com


November 19, 2019

Tylie Eaves' new release! "Hangdog: Shoulder to Shoulder" ... and "Hangdog II: Rebirth"

Check out this book set by Tylie Vaughan Eaves ðŸ˜
#TylieEaves

"So excited to announce the pending release of Hangdog III on BLACK FRIDAY! Initial release will be Kindle and.or ebook, followed closely by paperback! If you haven't read the first two books yet, now is the time!
This first-ever Hangdog trailer is a work in progress, but we just couldn't wait to share it!"

Hangdog

HERE > https://amzn.to/2r3ZyIq

From Book 1: "You won't want to put it down. This dramatic, suspenseful work of Christian fiction will draw you in from the first chapter, and leave you begging for more in the end."

Hangdog - Shoulder to Shoulder is the first of three books in the highly anticipated Christian Fiction series by Tylie Eaves.

Beau and Eli McKnight are brothers, identical twins who have lived an idyllic existence for eighteen years. But, when careless choices turn a right of passage into an unspeakable tragedy, everything changes in an instant. The entire McKnight family ends up in the fight of their lives. Battling anger, bitterness, fear, guilt, shame and uncertainty, they must strike back against pain, doubt and evil, lean into God’s grace and trust that miracles are real, forgiveness is free, and healing -- inside and out -- is an inevitable byproduct of faith.

#kindleedition

#VertuPublishing

January 06, 2019

PRODUCT REVIEW: L'Oreal Paris "Age Perfect" Skin Care

L'Oreal Paris "Age Perfect" Skin Care
Product Review




I have not yet been using this product long enough to comment on how it treats my lines and oncoming wrinkles on my aging facial skin; I am currently 52... but, when cleansing my face with the Rosy Tone Mask, I love the way this feels, it's so smooth and soothing.

"Age Perfect Cell Renewal Rosy Tone Mask: This mask's gel formula takes just 5 minutes to refresh skin's rosy, radiant look."



However, as soon as it starts reaching the 5-minute point of when you're supposed to rinse it off, my top lip, the sensitive area under the nose, starts tingling with a slight burning sensation, so if I go over time after the alarm goes off, I know that, "Hey! Right now it's time to take this off!" LOL ...then I have to wait at least 30 minutes before I apply the rosy tone moisturizer because I do have sensitive skin. The first day I did not wait, and applied it immediately after rinsing the mask... my face stung for almost an hour! So I've learned to wait. Last week when I waited I lost track of time... I went 24 hours without because I forgot!

(Day one photos)

 

 

  


Let me tell you a little bit about this 52 year old's face! If I do not add a moisturizer after washing my face, I feel as if my skin has been exposed to a desert! It starts pulling and itching and feeling tight and feeling dry and it will consume my mind until I put moisturizer on my face! With the rosy tone, I did not even realize I needed the moisturizer! So I could clean with the mask everyday, or every other day, and not even need moisturizer! In my book, that makes this an amazing product!

 "Age Perfect Rosy Tone Fragrance Free Face Moisturizer: Use every morning to stimulate cell renewal and rejuvenate skin."



The 3rd item, the Age Perfect Hydra Nutrition All Over Honey Balm is great as well! It smells good, and clean, and you can use it on your face, neck, chest, and hands.
Always always always apply a moisturizer to your neck and upper chest, and especially the back of your hands and your arms! They are oftentimes exposed to the sun more than your face is! It is one way for sure to tell a woman's age if you cannot tell by her face or neck! The back of her hands will look like her grandmother's hands. #crepepaper!

 "Age Perfect Hydra Nutrition Manuka Honey All Over Balm: Rescue dry skin by applying this nurturing balm on the face, neck, chest, and hands."

  


My hands look very hydrated & healthy today, after using he balm daily for approximately 5 days...

52 yrs old? You never would have known!



All in all, I am very satisfied with the L'Oreal Paris Age Perfect Cell Renewal Rosy Tone Moisturizer & Mask, and Age Perfect Hydra Nutrition Balm!
Love love love!
Highly recommend!



In another 13 days or so, I will update with more facial photos and we'll
see together the results of a "two-week regimen"! :)


#LOrealParis #SkinCare
https://www.lorealparisusa.com



INTERESTED IN REVIEWING PRODUCTS YOURSELF? JOIN INFLUENSTER!
https://www.influenster.com/
#voxbox
~I received these products complimentary for testing purposes~

August 19, 2018

REVIEW of my 1st COFFEE CRATE subscription *BE STILL MY HEART!* :)


Yesterday's arrival of my new COFFEE CRATE subscription found me almost dancing out of the post office! HAHA!!

I ADORE COFFEE!

Inside of a well packaged and protected box, was this beauty!
A very thick box that protects the precioussssss!

And a special Thank You note from Miss Angie!


And, an amazing coffee aroma!





Oh, no, Miss Angie...
Thank YOU!!




Neatly & cutely wrapped in burlap was my prize!
(insert evil, giggly laugh!)




*squeee!*

THREE COFFEES!


Ooh! And a PAIR of COOKIES!? WHAT?! Yes, please!


Shortbread with cranberries!!... be still my heart!





Yep... mhmmmm!
More about that cookie later!!




*fanning myself*

These are this month's featured coffees:




BOQUETE PANAMA:
(Panama)

Boquete, Chiriquí
Town in Panama

Boquete is a small town on the Caldera River, in western Panama. The surrounding Chiriquí Highlands are home to coffee plantations and the Barú Volcano National Park, to the west. Highlights in the park include the towering Barú Volcano and Los Quetzales Trail, which offers sightings of the elusive quetzal bird. North of town, the Bajo Mono Loop drive has expansive views of the forest.
Weather: 67°F (19°C), Wind E at 6 mph (10 km/h), 95% Humidity
Population: 19,000 (2008)
Province: Chiriquí Province

Map of Boquete Panama



VEREDAS VECINOS:
(Colombia)

Nariño Department
Nariño is a department of Colombia named after independence leader Antonio Nariño. Its capital is San Juan de Pasto. It is in the west of the country, bordering Ecuador and the Pacific Ocean. 
Area: 12,845 mi²
Provinces: 3
Population: 1.702 million (2013)

Related image




EL VOLCANCITO:
(Guatemala)

San Luis, El Petén
Municipality in Guatemala
San Luis is a municipality in the El Petén department of Guatemala. The municipality is rectangle-shaped and is approximately 2,915 km squared. It contains 44,903 people.
Weather: 82°F (28°C), Wind E at 4 mph (6 km/h), 74% Humidity

Image result for san luis, guatemala



Each of the coffees have a very strong, unique odor...
they are each different. It's hard to explain their aroma, but they are bold!





I am first trying the Veredas Vecinos style:








Into the grinder with you!!





SMELLS SOOOO GOOD!!
I LOVE to grind beans! The grinder I am using was my husband's mother's griner, Linda. She passed a few years ago. I was blessed with it a few years before that. I told them I was going to start buying coffee beans like they did because they smelled great and the coffee always tasted so fresh ... so Thank You, Linda and Mike!!




I bought small paper inserts for my new coffee maker to cut back on the 'sediment' that coffees sometimes leave behind. I like a clean cup of coffee.




I used a touch less than suggested on the paperwork, because I have experienced coffee that was far stronger than needed! That's not pleasurable for me. I like a 'medium' or 'breakfast' blend strength. Everyone likes theirs differently...




Into my brand new coffee maker you go!

BREW, BABY!




It smells strong and amazing!




A beautiful coffee color!




Now my heavy whipping cream...
oh, so good!





OK, now on to the COOKIES!...

Oh, Geraldine... I think you may be one of my new favorite names!

(I can only eat a half of a cookie per day because I am keto-ing,
but I will thoroughly enjoy every delectable bite!)

So soft, FRESH, and delicioussss!
AHHH! Help me, Keto-gods!! LOL






*Ahem* I must collect myself!



TIPS on how to be a coffee pro...

Wait... was I not already? *giggle*





Wonderful info from Coffee Crate about their company and how they gather their coffee beans from different companies around the world, and make them available to us!




How to get YOURS:

ORDER: coffeecrate.co

VISIT: facebook.com/coffeecrate

#coffeecrate



August 16, 2018

REVIEW of my first IPSY GLAM BAG!

IPSY BAG

August 2018

I received my first ipsy bag a couple of days ago! I am so excited to open it and share with you what is inside! I did not peek on the website because I wanted to be surprised!

INSIDE the August bag for me (they vary):

A Kale Mask




A Blackberry Mask




Volume Boost spray for your hair





"Foil" eyeshadow




Liquid Matte Lipstick/Gloss





Blush duo




I apologise for some of the photos being slightly dark or slightly fuzzy, some I had to zoom in on and that messes with pixelating. ALSO - I was told the photos were too big, so it was taking a while to load, so I have reset some to Medium and the smaller ones to Large... instead of Extra Large (I had them XL so it would be easier to view detail). Enjoy!

OK! So, I started late yesterday evening about an hour before bedtime with the Kale Mask.
This is made by Lab For You and it is called 'Juice Up' Sheet Mask. Yes, it is a mask made of a sheet, not a mud or liquid you rub onto your face. Very different!
The instructions are to clean your face and tone. I don't use toner.
So this is my before-washing face (but most of my makeup removed):


Hey! Hi there! Nice to see you! 😉


Washing my face...


After washing with my ultra-calming wash, I apply the mask sheet, I made sure the eye holes fit over my eyes, I used my fingers to hold it open, and then slide my fingers up across my forehead and on the nose to the sides of my face, and down under my chin...


It feels like it has a thin gel on it... nice and cooling...

If I move too much it starts to work its way 'loose'...
whoops! Smooth it back on!
It also drips down the neck, good thing I wore a tank top ;)




Drip
(I simply used a tissue to wipe it away, no big deal)



OK, 15 minutes and done! (You can wear it up to 20 minutes)
Time to remove it! I pulled it down from the top first
(it's not sticky, just wet):


I feel a nice, very slight tingle, nothing bad (I'm sensitive), 
and the directions say to gently & lightly smooth in the remainder - no rinsing.


Let it dry :)




I'm still happy with it today, 24 hrs later. My face is soft :)


OK, on to this morning's hair & makeup:

OUAI Volume Spray Boost for hair

I only used it on the top zone of my scalp, dried upward with with the hairdryer & brush, and laid it across the rest of my hair... you can see it actually does boost my hair volume! It lays across the hair on the sides very nicely! (photo is with partially wet hair)



Makeup time!

The eyeshadow is called "Foil" by 'the Balm'. I don't know if it is called "Locked Up" or if that is referring to the magnetic case. (by the way, if the cake of eyeshadow ever cracks or breaks, it will come out of the sides of this 'box'.)
Anyhoo, the color is great! Shiny, bright... I actually like it though it was never my style before (I'm almost 52!)
 I used two different setting for these photos, one with the overhead lamp on and one with different lighting so you could see the difference.








Also the blush duo is on my cheeks now...
pixi by petra in Peach Honey color:
I like the highlighting effect! I didn't think I would!
The color itself is very natural on my skin.






If I had on a better foundation, I bet this would look amazing!
I wear very light foundation during the day.




LIPS:

'HudaBeauty' in "Bombshell" color...
It has a unique (dare I say odd?) odor, goes on wet & thick, dries to a matte finish, and must be washed off with a makeup remover.


But I like it well enough :)



Not bad ... 😉

OK, that's it! I look forward to getting the September Glam Bag from ipsy!

WHERE TO FIND IPSY/GLAM BAG:
www.ipsy.com
www.facebook.com/ipsy

From their About section in Facebook:

Mission
We inspire people around the world to express their unique beauty.
MORE INFO
About
We inspire individuals around the world to express their unique beauty.

Watch our videos on YouTube and subscribe: http://youtube.com/ipsy

Subscribe to our monthly Glam Bag: www.ipsy.com/?sid=fp. Need help? http://help.ipsy.com
Company Overview
ipsy is the world's largest and most passionate online beauty community. We dreamt up ipsy back in 2011 with one singular goal - to democratize beauty, making it accessible and affordable for everyone and fearlessly representing individuality and inclusivity. That's how the Glam Bag came to life. With five products personalized for you - plus articles, videos, and more on ipsy.com - you're free to try new things and express who you are. ipsy Shopper takes our mission to the next level by making beauty more accessible, rewarding, and liberating than ever before. And with ipsy Gen Beauty, Open Studios, and all the creator content that we post each day, our intention has remained the same: to give every individual the tools to form their own definition of beauty.

Once you're an ipster, you're part of something big - a community that's leaving the rules behind and making unique beauty a real thing. And we'll be with you all the way.

Subscribe to the Glam Bag: http://mygl.am/SubscribetoIpsy
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ipsy on YouTube: www.youtube.com/ipsy
Products
Glam Bag
ipsy Offers
ipsy Gen Beauty
ipsy Open Studios
ipsy.com




(I was not compensated in any way for this review)