October 04, 2008
Save your money! Forget Gift Cards! (REPOSTING!)
REPOSTING BECAUSE OF THE TIME OF YEAR
If you have gift cards for stores that are entering bankruptcy protection, make sure you use them IMMEDIATELY! Once they are in bankruptcy, the gift cards are worthless, since gift cards are legally considered LOANS that you made to the company, and you'll have to get in line with all their other creditors to try to get back a few cents on the dollar (if you're lucky).
Another thing, right when these stores need their customer loyalty the most, the bankruptcy judges are telling them they can no longer honor those gift cards.
It makes since, you've already invested the money! If the store honors them, they are out more merchandise!
Have you noticed the news posts about business' closing over the past year and in the coming future?! For example, I read to day that Home Depot is closing 15 of its least-productive stores! Look it up!
People are getting tighter with their money, and rightly so! It's putting a huge dent in business'!
Many companies actually charge a fee from the card if it is not used before a certain time. I noticed that when I worked at a large chain department store! Your money on the card actually shrinks! If you wait a year, on a card that had $50, you may now only have $40!
So, use the cards now or lose them, and give cash as gifts, NOT gift cards! Cash will always be accepted anywhere, but gift cards are only usable at the issuers shops. Best Buy alone has over $500 million in outstanding gift cards floating around out there! The cards are a scam, and they're hoping you'll never redeem them!
If you have gift cards for stores that are entering bankruptcy protection, make sure you use them IMMEDIATELY! Once they are in bankruptcy, the gift cards are worthless, since gift cards are legally considered LOANS that you made to the company, and you'll have to get in line with all their other creditors to try to get back a few cents on the dollar (if you're lucky).
Another thing, right when these stores need their customer loyalty the most, the bankruptcy judges are telling them they can no longer honor those gift cards.
It makes since, you've already invested the money! If the store honors them, they are out more merchandise!
Have you noticed the news posts about business' closing over the past year and in the coming future?! For example, I read to day that Home Depot is closing 15 of its least-productive stores! Look it up!
People are getting tighter with their money, and rightly so! It's putting a huge dent in business'!
Many companies actually charge a fee from the card if it is not used before a certain time. I noticed that when I worked at a large chain department store! Your money on the card actually shrinks! If you wait a year, on a card that had $50, you may now only have $40!
So, use the cards now or lose them, and give cash as gifts, NOT gift cards! Cash will always be accepted anywhere, but gift cards are only usable at the issuers shops. Best Buy alone has over $500 million in outstanding gift cards floating around out there! The cards are a scam, and they're hoping you'll never redeem them!
7-year old boy breaks into zoo, kills several animals
SYDNEY, Australia (Oct. 3) - A 7-year-old boy broke into a popular Outback zoo, fed a string of animals to the resident crocodile and bashed several lizards to death with a rock, the zoo's director said Friday.
The 30-minute rampage, caught on the zoo's security camera, happened early Wednesday after the boy jumped a security fence at the Alice Springs Reptile Center in central Australia, said zoo director Rex Neindorf.
The child then went on a killing spree, bashing three lizards to death with a rock, including the zoo's beloved, 20-year-old goanna, which he then fed to "Terry," an 11-foot, 440-pound saltwater crocodile, said Neindorf.
The boy also fed several live animals to Terry by throwing them over the two fences surrounding the crocodile's enclosure, at one point climbing over the outer fence to get closer to the giant reptile.
In the footage, the boy's face remains largely blank, Neindorf said, adding: "It was like he was playing a game."
By the time he was done, 13 animals worth around $5,500 had been killed, including a turtle, bearded dragons and thorny devil lizards, Neindorf said. Although none were considered rare, some are difficult to replace, he said.
"We're horrified that anyone can do this and saddened by the age of the child," Neindorf said.
Alice Springs police said they are unable to press charges against the boy because of his age. Children under age 10 can't be charged with criminal offenses in the Northern Territory. His name was not released because of his age.
Neindorf said he plans to sue the boy's parents.
The boy's small size is probably the reason he didn't trip the zoo's security system, which relies on sensors to detect intruders, Neindorf said.
"I just want people to learn that they can't let their children go and run amok," Neindorf said. "If we can't put the blame onto the child, then someone has to accept the responsibility."
Now, Phyllis' take on this:
I am a single (divorced) mom of an 11 yr old (very normal and shy) boy. I do not have much money. Those of you that know me, know I'm a good person. Had my son *snuck out of the house in the middle of the night*, I wouldn't know it. I know my child has good morals. This child's face "was blank". I am wondering if he was in some type of sleep walking. If I were to be sued for Zach's actions, I would be pissed. I barely have enough to pay bills every month, put gas in the car, and buy groceries. Much less pay for a laywer and court fees and thousands of dollars of damage to a zoo that already pulls in a wad of big money. I would beg instead for the authorities to take my son in for psychiatric evaluations. This child needs help, for sure. And maybe a priest should be brought in as well. My first thought was, he was possessed by something or someone. I don't know why my mind went there, but it did. I'm Christian (Baptist), not Catholic, so I don't know why I thought about a priest, either. But that's who you usually hear about in cases of clearing out 'possessions'. Maybe the child had a freaked-out dream about animals killing his parents, and he wanted to stop that from happening. Know one will know until the child is questioned thoroughly.
Your thoughts?
The 30-minute rampage, caught on the zoo's security camera, happened early Wednesday after the boy jumped a security fence at the Alice Springs Reptile Center in central Australia, said zoo director Rex Neindorf.
The child then went on a killing spree, bashing three lizards to death with a rock, including the zoo's beloved, 20-year-old goanna, which he then fed to "Terry," an 11-foot, 440-pound saltwater crocodile, said Neindorf.
The boy also fed several live animals to Terry by throwing them over the two fences surrounding the crocodile's enclosure, at one point climbing over the outer fence to get closer to the giant reptile.
In the footage, the boy's face remains largely blank, Neindorf said, adding: "It was like he was playing a game."
By the time he was done, 13 animals worth around $5,500 had been killed, including a turtle, bearded dragons and thorny devil lizards, Neindorf said. Although none were considered rare, some are difficult to replace, he said.
"We're horrified that anyone can do this and saddened by the age of the child," Neindorf said.
Alice Springs police said they are unable to press charges against the boy because of his age. Children under age 10 can't be charged with criminal offenses in the Northern Territory. His name was not released because of his age.
Neindorf said he plans to sue the boy's parents.
The boy's small size is probably the reason he didn't trip the zoo's security system, which relies on sensors to detect intruders, Neindorf said.
"I just want people to learn that they can't let their children go and run amok," Neindorf said. "If we can't put the blame onto the child, then someone has to accept the responsibility."
Now, Phyllis' take on this:
I am a single (divorced) mom of an 11 yr old (very normal and shy) boy. I do not have much money. Those of you that know me, know I'm a good person. Had my son *snuck out of the house in the middle of the night*, I wouldn't know it. I know my child has good morals. This child's face "was blank". I am wondering if he was in some type of sleep walking. If I were to be sued for Zach's actions, I would be pissed. I barely have enough to pay bills every month, put gas in the car, and buy groceries. Much less pay for a laywer and court fees and thousands of dollars of damage to a zoo that already pulls in a wad of big money. I would beg instead for the authorities to take my son in for psychiatric evaluations. This child needs help, for sure. And maybe a priest should be brought in as well. My first thought was, he was possessed by something or someone. I don't know why my mind went there, but it did. I'm Christian (Baptist), not Catholic, so I don't know why I thought about a priest, either. But that's who you usually hear about in cases of clearing out 'possessions'. Maybe the child had a freaked-out dream about animals killing his parents, and he wanted to stop that from happening. Know one will know until the child is questioned thoroughly.
Your thoughts?
October 02, 2008
If you have school-age children, you need to read this!
From Carol:
NOTE: I have copied here, with permission, a blog that I read today. The blog writer, in her desire to get it out to as many as possible, requested that I email it and copy it to my own blog, so I have done that below.
BEWARE OF THESE BOOKS!!!
If you have children or grandchildren, work with children at church,
or you have neighborhood children whose parents you know, please take
note of the information below and pass it along to others. Schools are distributing this book to children through the Scholastic Book Club.
The name of the book is Conversations with God.. James Dobson talked
about this book twice this week. It is devastating. Parents, churches
and Christian schools need to be aware of it. Please pass this
information on to church/e-mail addresses, Parents, Grandparents,
Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, friends.
Please pay special attention not only to what your kids watch on TV,
in movie theaters, on the internet, and the music they listen to, but
also be alert regarding the books they read.
Two particular books are, Conversations with God and Conversations
with God for Teens, written by Neale D. Walsch. They sound harmless
enough by their titles alone. The books have been on the New York
Times best sellers list for a number of weeks, and they make truth of
the statement, "Don't judge a book by its cover or title."
The author purports to answer various questions asked by kids using
the "voice of God." However, the "answers" that he gives are not
Bible-based and go against the very infallible word of God. For
instance (and I paraphrase), when a girl asks the question "Why am I a lesbian?" His answer is that she was 'born that way' because of
genetics (just as you were born right-handed, with brown eyes, etc.).
Then he tells her to go out and "celebrate" her differences.
Another girls poses the question "I am living with my boyfriend. My parents say that I should marry him because I am living in sin. Should I marry him?"
His reply is, "Who are you sinning against? Not me, because you have
done nothing wrong."
Another question asks about God's forgiveness of sin. His reply "I do not forgive anyone because there is nothing to forgive. There is no such thing as right or wrong and that is what I have been trying to
tell everyone, do not judge people. People have chosen to judge one another and this is wrong, because the rule is "judge not lest ye be judged."
Not only are these books the false doctrine of the devil, but in some
instances quote (in error) the Word of God.
And the list goes on. These books (and others like it) are being sold
to schoolchildren through The Scholastic Book Club, and we need to
be aware of what is being fed to our children.
Our children are under attack. So I pray that you be sober and
vigilant about teaching your children the Word of God, and guarding
their exposure to worldly mediums, because our adversary, the devil,
roams about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter
5:8). We know that lions usually hunt for the slowest, weakest and
YOUNGEST of its prey.
Pass this on to every Believer you know. God bless! And, if you are in doubt, check out the books yourself.
NOTE: I have copied here, with permission, a blog that I read today. The blog writer, in her desire to get it out to as many as possible, requested that I email it and copy it to my own blog, so I have done that below.
BEWARE OF THESE BOOKS!!!
If you have children or grandchildren, work with children at church,
or you have neighborhood children whose parents you know, please take
note of the information below and pass it along to others. Schools are distributing this book to children through the Scholastic Book Club.
The name of the book is Conversations with God.. James Dobson talked
about this book twice this week. It is devastating. Parents, churches
and Christian schools need to be aware of it. Please pass this
information on to church/e-mail addresses, Parents, Grandparents,
Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, friends.
Please pay special attention not only to what your kids watch on TV,
in movie theaters, on the internet, and the music they listen to, but
also be alert regarding the books they read.
Two particular books are, Conversations with God and Conversations
with God for Teens, written by Neale D. Walsch. They sound harmless
enough by their titles alone. The books have been on the New York
Times best sellers list for a number of weeks, and they make truth of
the statement, "Don't judge a book by its cover or title."
The author purports to answer various questions asked by kids using
the "voice of God." However, the "answers" that he gives are not
Bible-based and go against the very infallible word of God. For
instance (and I paraphrase), when a girl asks the question "Why am I a lesbian?" His answer is that she was 'born that way' because of
genetics (just as you were born right-handed, with brown eyes, etc.).
Then he tells her to go out and "celebrate" her differences.
Another girls poses the question "I am living with my boyfriend. My parents say that I should marry him because I am living in sin. Should I marry him?"
His reply is, "Who are you sinning against? Not me, because you have
done nothing wrong."
Another question asks about God's forgiveness of sin. His reply "I do not forgive anyone because there is nothing to forgive. There is no such thing as right or wrong and that is what I have been trying to
tell everyone, do not judge people. People have chosen to judge one another and this is wrong, because the rule is "judge not lest ye be judged."
Not only are these books the false doctrine of the devil, but in some
instances quote (in error) the Word of God.
And the list goes on. These books (and others like it) are being sold
to schoolchildren through The Scholastic Book Club, and we need to
be aware of what is being fed to our children.
Our children are under attack. So I pray that you be sober and
vigilant about teaching your children the Word of God, and guarding
their exposure to worldly mediums, because our adversary, the devil,
roams about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter
5:8). We know that lions usually hunt for the slowest, weakest and
YOUNGEST of its prey.
Pass this on to every Believer you know. God bless! And, if you are in doubt, check out the books yourself.
How to Take Back Your Parenting Powers by Susan Epstein, Parent Coach
special report:
How to Take Back Your Parenting Powers
I am about to share with you 5 quick fixes to take back your parenting powers. These powerful ideas may seem simple to apply. However, if your situation requires extra attention, or you try my fixes and they are not working for you, please email me or call and I will be glad to arrange a free phone consultation.
If you’re at your wits end, feeling depleted, exhausted and drained of your energy because of the constant tests you’ve been getting from your child or children, I hear you! And I want you to know that your're not alone. Millions of Americans and parents all around the world are facing similar challenges. Some more extreme, and some a bit milder than what you my be facing.
You love your child. You want them to be as great as you know they can be. You want them to grow up healthy and with their head on straight. But, somewhere along the line they got "derailed" and started on a path that has led to tremendous stress and anxiety for everyone. Pick your poison. Is your child:
Angry?
Defiant?
Disrespectful?
And the harder you try to control the situation, the more out of control things get. Maybe they get better for a very brief time (and you hope it will stay this way), but it never lasts and the next big blow up is always just around the corner.
Preview:
In this Special Report you will learn 5 specific things you can do to quickly take back your parenting powers and defuse your child’s unproductive and negative behavior.Plus, you’ll also...
Command Respect
Set Up Expectations
Watch Out for negativity
Provide nurturance and guidance
Listen for feelings
Case Example
Situation
Joey scream at and talks back to his parents all the time. He is constantly picking fights with his younger brothers. He is so angry that Mom is afraid that he is scaring the other children and she hates to admit it but she is often afraid of him, too. How horrible, to be afraid of your own son! Mom and Dad have been around and around with trying to fix this. They have talked to numerous professionals, tried therapy and even medications for the son.
Here is Their Story
Last year, mom took Joey to a therapist. He went to the appointments (more like she dragged him to the appointments). The therapist told mom that he doesn’t talk and there is not much he can do with him in Joey won’t talk in the sessions. The therapist told mom to take Joey to an MD because maybe he is depressed, or bi-polar.
SO, mom followed the therapist’s advice, took Joey to the MD, and the MD prescribed 3 different medications. Mom had to fight with Joey every day to take the medications and if that weren’t bad enough, Joey seemed worse. Instead of acting angry he wouldn’t come out of his room. Mom cancelled the next appointment with the MD and stopped giving Joey the medications. Within 2 weeks Joey started up with the loud angry outbursts. Living this way was taking a toll on the entire family. Mom is even noticing that she and Dad are fighting more and no one in the family is talking to each other. It is like everyone is hiding out!
Sound familiar?
Does this situation sound at all familiar to you? Have you tried everything you know to improve your child’s behavior only to find yourself going around in circles and becoming more and more frustrated?
If so,
Read on and I will show you how in 5 easy steps you can take back your parenting powers!
The 5 Quick Fixes
Parenting Fix #1 - Commanding Respect
Angry kids are not going to cooperate, therefore, YOU must put a stop to back talk, interrupting, face making and other negative body language.
Well, you say, "Easier said than done!"
Actually, it is simple. The glitch is that it takes consistency and a poker face from you. Every time your child engages in one of these negative behaviors, you have to block him/her.
You ask, "EVERY TIME? ARE YOU CRAZY?" "How do I do this?"
Here’s the DRILL:
You say to your son or daughter: "Do not speak to me that way." Or “Do not interrupt me.” Or “Do not make that face.”
AND the glitch, you have to keep saying it until s/he stops and you must remain calm and not give up until s/he stops the behavior...
I guarantee you, that if you keep repeating one of these sentences to your child, with your poker face on, s/he will stop. They will be so shocked, a. that you are following through, and b. that you are not looking or sounding angry.
You are commanding respect.
You need to be ON 100%. Do not let this behavior slide. So pick a day that you are rested and in fairly good spirits, have someone you can call for support if you feel yourself caving...and carry on COMMANDING RESPECT, you deserve it! Don’t you?
Parenting Fix #2 - Setting up Expectations
WARNING! Do not attempt #2 until you have mastered #1.
Good. Now you have his/her attention and respect. Let’s talk about setting up
expectations. You do not want your son/daughter hurting or threatening your other children.
Spell it out. Tell him/her directly that this is unacceptable behavior.
Then tell him/her what the consequence will be if this happens.
The glitch? YOU have to follow through with the consequence.
A word about consequences:
Don’t overdo them. Grounding your child for a month will be more of a hardship for you than for your kid. Remember, you will have to see that face day in and day out, begging you to reconsider.
Think of a consequence that is swift and logical. I personally like restitution in cases like this. An example, would be to do something nice for, with the person that you hurt.
(Maybe take over one of their chores or help them with their homework).
*The key to Setting Up Expectations is to make this a meaningful and teachable moment!
Parenting Fix #3 - Watch out for Negativity
How do you speak to your child? Do you feel angry and resentful about their behavior?
Do you feel that all you focus on is the negative?
Then Stay With ME!
Let’s try something new. Here we go:
80% of the time you will focus on your child’s strengths. That only leaves 20% negativity. How does that sound? It is all in the way you phrase it.
“Joey, I know you are trying really hard to control your temper and I see you catching yourself when you begin to lose it. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
You are encouraging that he is trying while also offering support and help. This will give him motivation and incentive to try even harder.
A word about overprotection:
This does not mean not letting him do the things he wants. Overprotection means that you make excuses for his behavior even though he is out of control. Another word is enabling. If you find yourself blaming others or the school this does not mean you are being positive toward your child. It means that you are letting him off the hook.
*Remember, decreasing negativity towards your child has a direct effect on eliciting more positive behaviors!
Parenting Fix #4 - Provide Nurturance and Guidance
Respect for others:
Teach your child concern for others. Tell him/her how you feel when s/he talks back, calls you names, ignores your requests. Let him/her know that his/her actions affect other people and give him/her examples of this.
“Joey, when you ignore me, my feelings get hurt.”
Problem Solving:
Demonstrate the skill of 'Problem Solving.' Show your child how to process a situation and then get to a resolution.
“Joey, let’s sit down together and talk about what it will take to improve the way we speak to each other.”
Accountablity:
Hold your child accountable for the expectations and the rules that you have
created.
“Joey, how will I know that you have completed the chores that I asked you to do?”
Share:
Share stories of when you were younger and what you learned from your own experiences. Kids love to hear about Mom's and Dad's childhood.
Make a connection:
Connect with your child. Make eye contact at least 10 times daily with your child. Ask open ended questions- not questions that can be answered “yes or no”.
*Providing Nurturance and Guidance Creates Loving, Giving and Kind Children
Parenting Fix #5 - Listen for Feelings
Are you ready for the final fix? Look past the content of what your child is expressing. What feelings are you noticing? Anger, Sadness, Disappointment, Resentment, Jealousy, Frustration, Happiness, Joy?
Check In:
Check in with your child about his/her feelings. Comment on what you see and ask your child if you are reading him/her correctly. Validate his/her feelings.
“I know you are frustrated that your curfew is 11:00PM, do you want to talk about it?”
Negotiating:
Be open to negotiating if it feels right to you. You will not be spoiling your child. Remember, s/he has finally given up the power and maybe getting something in return will seal the deal everybody wins!
“Mom, I feel different, everyone else gets to stay out till 11:30PM.”
Respond Clearly and Concisely:
“Joey, I would be willing to do that but this is what I need from you:
1. Tell me where you are going.
2. Call me if you change locations.
3. Do not arrive even 1 minute after 11:30PM
Can you do this? And remember, Joey, if you are even 1 minute late you will not go out next Saturday night.”
*Listening for feelings creates connection and bonding and love, love, love!
SO, Mom and Dad, You made it!
Once you have gone through these 5 fixes you will be a more confident parent, with a more peaceful home and a much better relationship with your child. Are you up to the challenge to help your child get back on the right path?
Are you ready to take back the power?
As I stated in the beginning of this Special Report, some situations may not be fixed so easily and quickly.
In families where there is:
Martial Discord
Mental Illness
Divorce
Death
Guilt about Blended Families
Our Own Needs to Get Love and Approval from our Children
Alcohol and Drug Use
Please email or call me for a consulation if you have any of the above going on. Let's get together and make a plan on how you, too, can take your parenting power back.
Here’s What I’ve Developed to Help You Have Well Behaved Kids…
Book: “Taking Back Your Parenting Power System: How to get control of your kids in 30 days or less: The secret formula to powerful parenting.” If you are new to the Parenting Powers System and you are looking for a place to start, this parenting book is it. A collection of many articles from meal time to bedtime, from homework to talking back…I have put together a manual that you can use raising your child from 3 to 18.
Susan P. Epstein, LCSW, Parent Coach
Please contact me with any questions...
Email: susan@parentingpowers.com
Phone: 860.437.0233 (Connecticut)
How to Take Back Your Parenting Powers
I am about to share with you 5 quick fixes to take back your parenting powers. These powerful ideas may seem simple to apply. However, if your situation requires extra attention, or you try my fixes and they are not working for you, please email me or call and I will be glad to arrange a free phone consultation.
If you’re at your wits end, feeling depleted, exhausted and drained of your energy because of the constant tests you’ve been getting from your child or children, I hear you! And I want you to know that your're not alone. Millions of Americans and parents all around the world are facing similar challenges. Some more extreme, and some a bit milder than what you my be facing.
You love your child. You want them to be as great as you know they can be. You want them to grow up healthy and with their head on straight. But, somewhere along the line they got "derailed" and started on a path that has led to tremendous stress and anxiety for everyone. Pick your poison. Is your child:
Angry?
Defiant?
Disrespectful?
And the harder you try to control the situation, the more out of control things get. Maybe they get better for a very brief time (and you hope it will stay this way), but it never lasts and the next big blow up is always just around the corner.
Preview:
In this Special Report you will learn 5 specific things you can do to quickly take back your parenting powers and defuse your child’s unproductive and negative behavior.Plus, you’ll also...
Command Respect
Set Up Expectations
Watch Out for negativity
Provide nurturance and guidance
Listen for feelings
Case Example
Situation
Joey scream at and talks back to his parents all the time. He is constantly picking fights with his younger brothers. He is so angry that Mom is afraid that he is scaring the other children and she hates to admit it but she is often afraid of him, too. How horrible, to be afraid of your own son! Mom and Dad have been around and around with trying to fix this. They have talked to numerous professionals, tried therapy and even medications for the son.
Here is Their Story
Last year, mom took Joey to a therapist. He went to the appointments (more like she dragged him to the appointments). The therapist told mom that he doesn’t talk and there is not much he can do with him in Joey won’t talk in the sessions. The therapist told mom to take Joey to an MD because maybe he is depressed, or bi-polar.
SO, mom followed the therapist’s advice, took Joey to the MD, and the MD prescribed 3 different medications. Mom had to fight with Joey every day to take the medications and if that weren’t bad enough, Joey seemed worse. Instead of acting angry he wouldn’t come out of his room. Mom cancelled the next appointment with the MD and stopped giving Joey the medications. Within 2 weeks Joey started up with the loud angry outbursts. Living this way was taking a toll on the entire family. Mom is even noticing that she and Dad are fighting more and no one in the family is talking to each other. It is like everyone is hiding out!
Sound familiar?
Does this situation sound at all familiar to you? Have you tried everything you know to improve your child’s behavior only to find yourself going around in circles and becoming more and more frustrated?
If so,
Read on and I will show you how in 5 easy steps you can take back your parenting powers!
The 5 Quick Fixes
Parenting Fix #1 - Commanding Respect
Angry kids are not going to cooperate, therefore, YOU must put a stop to back talk, interrupting, face making and other negative body language.
Well, you say, "Easier said than done!"
Actually, it is simple. The glitch is that it takes consistency and a poker face from you. Every time your child engages in one of these negative behaviors, you have to block him/her.
You ask, "EVERY TIME? ARE YOU CRAZY?" "How do I do this?"
Here’s the DRILL:
You say to your son or daughter: "Do not speak to me that way." Or “Do not interrupt me.” Or “Do not make that face.”
AND the glitch, you have to keep saying it until s/he stops and you must remain calm and not give up until s/he stops the behavior...
I guarantee you, that if you keep repeating one of these sentences to your child, with your poker face on, s/he will stop. They will be so shocked, a. that you are following through, and b. that you are not looking or sounding angry.
You are commanding respect.
You need to be ON 100%. Do not let this behavior slide. So pick a day that you are rested and in fairly good spirits, have someone you can call for support if you feel yourself caving...and carry on COMMANDING RESPECT, you deserve it! Don’t you?
Parenting Fix #2 - Setting up Expectations
WARNING! Do not attempt #2 until you have mastered #1.
Good. Now you have his/her attention and respect. Let’s talk about setting up
expectations. You do not want your son/daughter hurting or threatening your other children.
Spell it out. Tell him/her directly that this is unacceptable behavior.
Then tell him/her what the consequence will be if this happens.
The glitch? YOU have to follow through with the consequence.
A word about consequences:
Don’t overdo them. Grounding your child for a month will be more of a hardship for you than for your kid. Remember, you will have to see that face day in and day out, begging you to reconsider.
Think of a consequence that is swift and logical. I personally like restitution in cases like this. An example, would be to do something nice for, with the person that you hurt.
(Maybe take over one of their chores or help them with their homework).
*The key to Setting Up Expectations is to make this a meaningful and teachable moment!
Parenting Fix #3 - Watch out for Negativity
How do you speak to your child? Do you feel angry and resentful about their behavior?
Do you feel that all you focus on is the negative?
Then Stay With ME!
Let’s try something new. Here we go:
80% of the time you will focus on your child’s strengths. That only leaves 20% negativity. How does that sound? It is all in the way you phrase it.
“Joey, I know you are trying really hard to control your temper and I see you catching yourself when you begin to lose it. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
You are encouraging that he is trying while also offering support and help. This will give him motivation and incentive to try even harder.
A word about overprotection:
This does not mean not letting him do the things he wants. Overprotection means that you make excuses for his behavior even though he is out of control. Another word is enabling. If you find yourself blaming others or the school this does not mean you are being positive toward your child. It means that you are letting him off the hook.
*Remember, decreasing negativity towards your child has a direct effect on eliciting more positive behaviors!
Parenting Fix #4 - Provide Nurturance and Guidance
Respect for others:
Teach your child concern for others. Tell him/her how you feel when s/he talks back, calls you names, ignores your requests. Let him/her know that his/her actions affect other people and give him/her examples of this.
“Joey, when you ignore me, my feelings get hurt.”
Problem Solving:
Demonstrate the skill of 'Problem Solving.' Show your child how to process a situation and then get to a resolution.
“Joey, let’s sit down together and talk about what it will take to improve the way we speak to each other.”
Accountablity:
Hold your child accountable for the expectations and the rules that you have
created.
“Joey, how will I know that you have completed the chores that I asked you to do?”
Share:
Share stories of when you were younger and what you learned from your own experiences. Kids love to hear about Mom's and Dad's childhood.
Make a connection:
Connect with your child. Make eye contact at least 10 times daily with your child. Ask open ended questions- not questions that can be answered “yes or no”.
*Providing Nurturance and Guidance Creates Loving, Giving and Kind Children
Parenting Fix #5 - Listen for Feelings
Are you ready for the final fix? Look past the content of what your child is expressing. What feelings are you noticing? Anger, Sadness, Disappointment, Resentment, Jealousy, Frustration, Happiness, Joy?
Check In:
Check in with your child about his/her feelings. Comment on what you see and ask your child if you are reading him/her correctly. Validate his/her feelings.
“I know you are frustrated that your curfew is 11:00PM, do you want to talk about it?”
Negotiating:
Be open to negotiating if it feels right to you. You will not be spoiling your child. Remember, s/he has finally given up the power and maybe getting something in return will seal the deal everybody wins!
“Mom, I feel different, everyone else gets to stay out till 11:30PM.”
Respond Clearly and Concisely:
“Joey, I would be willing to do that but this is what I need from you:
1. Tell me where you are going.
2. Call me if you change locations.
3. Do not arrive even 1 minute after 11:30PM
Can you do this? And remember, Joey, if you are even 1 minute late you will not go out next Saturday night.”
*Listening for feelings creates connection and bonding and love, love, love!
SO, Mom and Dad, You made it!
Once you have gone through these 5 fixes you will be a more confident parent, with a more peaceful home and a much better relationship with your child. Are you up to the challenge to help your child get back on the right path?
Are you ready to take back the power?
As I stated in the beginning of this Special Report, some situations may not be fixed so easily and quickly.
In families where there is:
Martial Discord
Mental Illness
Divorce
Death
Guilt about Blended Families
Our Own Needs to Get Love and Approval from our Children
Alcohol and Drug Use
Please email or call me for a consulation if you have any of the above going on. Let's get together and make a plan on how you, too, can take your parenting power back.
Here’s What I’ve Developed to Help You Have Well Behaved Kids…
Book: “Taking Back Your Parenting Power System: How to get control of your kids in 30 days or less: The secret formula to powerful parenting.” If you are new to the Parenting Powers System and you are looking for a place to start, this parenting book is it. A collection of many articles from meal time to bedtime, from homework to talking back…I have put together a manual that you can use raising your child from 3 to 18.
Susan P. Epstein, LCSW, Parent Coach
Please contact me with any questions...
Email: susan@parentingpowers.com
Phone: 860.437.0233 (Connecticut)
Stop Paying: 15 Free Services
Stop Paying: 15 Free Services
Posted 1 day, 9 hours ago
Why pay for what you can get for free? From lodging to landscaping, here are 15 free services that you can stop paying for already.
Free Television
Cut that cable bill and use Hulu.com for your movie and television viewing pleasure. Hulu offers full episodes of your favorite current and classic TV shows, full-length movies and thousands of clips– all for free! (Love this place! ~Phyllis
Free College Fund
We’ve mentioned this before but thought it was a lesson worth repeating. Upromise offers a great way to beef up Junior’s college fund without costing you a penny. Upromise.com puts a percentage of the money you spend on every day purchases into a special 529 Plan. It’s completely free.
Free Kids Meals
Want to go out to eat at a restaurant that doesn’t charge you for your little one’s meal? Simply plug in your zip code at KidsMealDeals.com and you’ll get a list of nearby eateries offering free food for youngsters.
Free Invoicing
Here’s a tip for small business owners. Check out BillingBoss.com for an easy (and completely free) way to create, send and track invoices.
Free Business Cards
Snag lots of free stuff at VistaPrint.com. We’re talking business cards, address labels, sticky notes and much more for free. (I love this place! Been using for years! ~Phyllis)
Free Computer Software
If you need software for word processing, spreadsheets, graphics, and presentations, check out OpenOffice.org. It’s a completely free download for anybody.
Free Directory Assistance
Need a number? Rather than tacking on more to your phone bill, try 1-800-Free-411. Get the digits you desire without spending a dime. You may have to listen to a short advertisement but, hey, it’s free.
Free Photo Processing
At Snapfish.com you won’t pay for prints– at least not right away. The first 50 are completely free when you register on the site. After that they're $.09 each.
Free Recipes
Rather than pay for a cookbook, find free recipes on the Internet with sites like Epicurious.com and AllRecipes.com.
Free Landscaping
Need to spruce up your garden? Order some free trees at FreeTreesandPlants.com. It’s a non-profit charity that utilizes the help of disabled employees to process orders.
Free Credit Report
Once a year you are allowed free access to your credit report. Check out AnnualCreditReport.com to check your credit and stop identity theft.
Free Diet Help
Can’t afford a personal trainer or a dietician to help you stay healthy? Try visiting SparkPeople.com for free meal plans, fitness tracking and exercise demos. You can also download a free printable tape measure to measure your success.
Free DVD Rentals
Rather than subscribing to a movie rental service or visiting your neighborhood video store every Friday night, try visiting your local library. Their selection of DVD’s might surprise you, but it won’t come as a surprise that it’s completely free. After all, it is the library. (I've done this the last two years. It has saved me hundreds of $! ~Phyllis)
Free Music
Save money on your music fix by trying out free online streaming radio. Sites like Pandora.com and Free Napster let you decide exactly what you want to listen to. Hear the latest hits or your old favorites for free.
Free Lodging
Hotel stays can cost big bucks, but thanks to CouchSurfing.com you can find a couch to crash on in just about every city for free.
By Alison Storm
* Hot deals expire quickly. This deal may no longer be valid.
Posted 1 day, 9 hours ago
Why pay for what you can get for free? From lodging to landscaping, here are 15 free services that you can stop paying for already.
Free Television
Cut that cable bill and use Hulu.com for your movie and television viewing pleasure. Hulu offers full episodes of your favorite current and classic TV shows, full-length movies and thousands of clips– all for free! (Love this place! ~Phyllis
Free College Fund
We’ve mentioned this before but thought it was a lesson worth repeating. Upromise offers a great way to beef up Junior’s college fund without costing you a penny. Upromise.com puts a percentage of the money you spend on every day purchases into a special 529 Plan. It’s completely free.
Free Kids Meals
Want to go out to eat at a restaurant that doesn’t charge you for your little one’s meal? Simply plug in your zip code at KidsMealDeals.com and you’ll get a list of nearby eateries offering free food for youngsters.
Free Invoicing
Here’s a tip for small business owners. Check out BillingBoss.com for an easy (and completely free) way to create, send and track invoices.
Free Business Cards
Snag lots of free stuff at VistaPrint.com. We’re talking business cards, address labels, sticky notes and much more for free. (I love this place! Been using for years! ~Phyllis)
Free Computer Software
If you need software for word processing, spreadsheets, graphics, and presentations, check out OpenOffice.org. It’s a completely free download for anybody.
Free Directory Assistance
Need a number? Rather than tacking on more to your phone bill, try 1-800-Free-411. Get the digits you desire without spending a dime. You may have to listen to a short advertisement but, hey, it’s free.
Free Photo Processing
At Snapfish.com you won’t pay for prints– at least not right away. The first 50 are completely free when you register on the site. After that they're $.09 each.
Free Recipes
Rather than pay for a cookbook, find free recipes on the Internet with sites like Epicurious.com and AllRecipes.com.
Free Landscaping
Need to spruce up your garden? Order some free trees at FreeTreesandPlants.com. It’s a non-profit charity that utilizes the help of disabled employees to process orders.
Free Credit Report
Once a year you are allowed free access to your credit report. Check out AnnualCreditReport.com to check your credit and stop identity theft.
Free Diet Help
Can’t afford a personal trainer or a dietician to help you stay healthy? Try visiting SparkPeople.com for free meal plans, fitness tracking and exercise demos. You can also download a free printable tape measure to measure your success.
Free DVD Rentals
Rather than subscribing to a movie rental service or visiting your neighborhood video store every Friday night, try visiting your local library. Their selection of DVD’s might surprise you, but it won’t come as a surprise that it’s completely free. After all, it is the library. (I've done this the last two years. It has saved me hundreds of $! ~Phyllis)
Free Music
Save money on your music fix by trying out free online streaming radio. Sites like Pandora.com and Free Napster let you decide exactly what you want to listen to. Hear the latest hits or your old favorites for free.
Free Lodging
Hotel stays can cost big bucks, but thanks to CouchSurfing.com you can find a couch to crash on in just about every city for free.
By Alison Storm
* Hot deals expire quickly. This deal may no longer be valid.
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